Paul said to the Christians in Ephesus…. people that had been born again, sealed, recipients of the Holy Spirit…these words: “Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you. Ephesians 4:31-32, NIV. Now why was the apostle wasting time, telling these people what surely they must have known and been doing? Because, quite obviously, them as now, Christians aren’t always nice to each other as they should be, and we tend to forget the important stuff.
Don’t think that because you have been born again that you can’t fall into bad habits. Today, I would like to talk to you about kindness, because I am bothered by Christians, myself included, that often fail to be kind. The wisest man to ever live was clear: “Your kindness will reward you, but your cruelty will destroy you.” Proverbs 11:17. NIV
Kindness is the action that gets the attention of those souls that might be starving for some sort of indication that they are worthy of attention and affection. To be a Christian and to be unkind, is to be a stumbling block, or obstacle—a hindrance—to those that might be looking for God! You might argue that you don’t have to be kind to go to heaven, and that might be right. You could also argue that you are saved by grace, through faith, and that you don’t have to do good things to earn heaven. And you’re right, But kindness is a sure sign that you are a disciple. “Salvation is free, but discipleship will cost you your life.” Bonhoeffer. You will not have joy, and your prayers are ineffective if you are not being an obedient child! And our Father says this: Be kind!
Are you kind? Do people witness your kindness and wonder what makes you so different? Are you behaving as Christ would behave, showing kindness, in an occurrence where others would show disgust? Kindness makes life sweet and hopeful. When we say things that are kind, someone, somewhere is listening! “Kind words are like honey—sweet to the soul and healthy for the body."Proverbs 16:24 NIV. Healthy for the one that desperately might be needing to hear it and good for you as well! One day, perhaps not too far away for some of us, we will see the King, and He will say, ‘I tell you the truth, when you did it to one of the least of these my brothers and sisters, you were doing it to me!’Matthew 25:34-40NIV. Were you kind today?
During the nineteenth century tthere was a young disciple of Christ known as Therese of Lisieux. After her death was beatified by the Catholic Church and called a saint, those who knew her well called her the Little Flower. The way she loved people and encouraged them caused others to want to love others and serve God with a childlike trust in Him. She passed away when she was only 24 years old, but during that brief time in this world she was genuinely kind to those around her and, above all, to Jesus. She would even make it a point to be kind to the people who she was the least fond of, because she knew it required more of a sacrifice that she could offer up to Jesus out of her love and devotion to Him. “Kindness is my only guiding star,” she wrote in her diary entitled “The Story of a Soul,” which was published years after her passing and became a bestselling book. “In its light, I sail a straight route, I have my motto written on my sail: ‘To live in love.’” Are you and I like that?
We’re told that “Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged.” (1 Corinthians 13:4-5, NIV). That’s what kindness is! Imagine having a friend that lived that way! Dream of being in a family that always thought like that? And now, imagine a way of life, a community, a group of people that were known to live this way! Wouldn’t you be inclined to want to visit that family, or become familiar with that community?? Well, that community is the true body of Christ! It is His bride—-the church! It is was distinguishes us from the cults, the false faiths, the non-believing!
While on a train from Vienne to Lyon, I was standing because there no seats left and it was an “open-seating” train—-just a short trip. But I prayed about this message—-kindness. And as I prayed I asked God to allow me to be the giver of kindness to others—-as a witness to Christ and expression of my love for God. And I also asked Him to allow me to receive some kindness back—-we all need it from time to time. Within five seconds a young man, seated near me, offered me his seat. I thanked him but declined, then he rose up and again offered me his seat. And I again thanked him and told him to keep the seat—it was only an 18 minute ride. Later I thought—-was he an angel…. or a young man? Was He God’s messenger of grace, to remind that He hears the smallest and shortest of prayers? The author of Hebrews said, “Don’t forget to show hospitality to strangers, for some who have done this have entertained angels without realizing it!” Hebrews 13:2. NIV Christian kindness is this: Doing an act of service to someone else without any expectation of getting anything back. The same is true of Christian love. To love as Christ would have us love, is to love someone, knowing that they are unable to love us back. That’s the love of the Father. Do you want to be full of joy today? Trying being kind. “Never let loyalty,( to those you love) and kindness, (to those you don’t even know) ever leave you! Tie them around your neck as a reminder. Write them deep within your heart. (Proverbs 3:3, NIV) We’ve all seen some unkindness this past week, but how many times have we experienced kindness—-perhaps the touch of an angel—-and failed to give thanks to God. I want to be treated kindly, by God, and by everyone else, but two questions come to mind: Am I grateful, appreciative and acknowledging kindness to me, and I am a giver of kindness? And what kills kindness? The notion that “it’s my right”, or “that’s not my problem”, and so I walk away from an opportunity to spread light. True greatness lies in lowering oneself to lift others up.
The saddest people I know, the ones that are the most depressed…the one that…the same ones that want kindness…. but the same ones that want it rarely offer it. Solomon said, “Worry weighs a person down; an encouraging word cheers a person up."Proverbs 12:25, NIV. Let me add, it cheers up both of you! The more we focus upon the other person, the less we think about our own issues—and what a blessed riddance. You’re not living in God’s will and your call to be a real disciple if you are not kind. Paul said, “A servant of the Lord must not quarrel but must be kind to everyone, be able to teach, and be patient with difficult people.” 2 Timothy 2:24, NIV. “This is what the Lord of Heaven’s Armies says: Judge fairly, and show mercy and kindness to one another.” Zechariah 7:9, NIV
People are desperate for kindness and some acknowledgement that they matter. “We prove ourselves by our purity, our understanding, our patience, our kindness, by the Holy Spirit within us, and by our sincere love.2 Corinthians 6:6, NIV. When I arrived in Lille, France last week I came to the Hotel, checked in and immediately checked my iPhone and computer for messages about the meetings for that day, and to answer all the messages sent to me over the last 20 hours. But as I tried to connect to the internet at the hotel, I found myself in trouble. I could not get on-line. And then, as I picked up my phone, I realize I could not us my phone either to connect. I was ready to panic! With no internet or wi-fi, I was in real trouble! My airline tickets, train tickets, hotel reservations, contacts with the hosts in France were all in that phone and computer! I could not even communicate with the folks back home to get help.
For an hour I tried everything I knew to get connected. And yes, that knowledge is quite finite and limited—I am not good with these things. Now, I could have prayed and prayed, or I could pray and then “listened” to what God said. But I all I heard was, “get someone to help you!” So I did. I went to the reception desk, confessed that I was an idiot with computers and iPhones, and asked for help. For thirty minutes a young man from the concierge desk tried to help me. He couldn’t figure it out either—-and I had just checked in, he had no idea who I was. But finally he said, “here’s my phone, use it to connect you to the internet.” And it worked—instantly. And then when I tried to connect via my own phone, it also worked and I got on-line. All because a young man at the front desk was kind to me. He knew nothing of me, or my beliefs, or my ability repay him for His kindness. He was merely kind, and it changed my day—-I can’t tell you the relief I had to being able to get back on-line and answer a zillion emails, texts and phone calls. His kindness cost him nothing, but saved my investment of thousands of dollars to get to France. Who knows how much your little act of kindness can bless another soul.
This is not a recommendation—it’s something God expects of His Sons and Daughters! “Since God chose you to be the holy people he loves, you must clothe yourselves with tenderhearted mercy, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Make allowance for each other’s faults, and forgive anyone who offends you. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others. Above all, clothe yourselves with love, which binds us all together in perfect harmony.” (Colossians 3:12-14, NIV)
But here’s a warning—and I know a little about this: As much as you practice kindness—-perhaps the highest expression of the new life in Christ we can offer to a lost world—it’s a matter of fact that rather than being grateful and admiring you, many people will assume you’re weak, because you are so kind——and they will either take advantage of you or think less of you! I’ve had more than my share of people that worked for me during the summer or full-time at the camp, that are just like this. They think less of me and take advantage of me. It’s going to happen in this broken world.
Kindness does not mean you’re surrendering to the other’s person’ point of view, or that you are weak, or that you lack courage and strength. It’s the opposite! Theres’s a misunderstanding that kindness is a confession of weakness—-of giving in. A person who bends too easily, who gives endlessly with no thought of their own needs may unwittingly teach others to devalue what they offer. Human nature, as curious as it is, tends to test the boundaries of what it encounters. If you present yourself as one without limits, always forgiving, always yielding, always giving more than is asked, you may invite the unscrupulous to see you as little more than a means to an end. But it is not their fault alone. It is also my responsibility to communicate through action what I will and will not tolerate. True kindness, then, must walk hand in hand with courageous wisdom. It requires a recognition of my own worth and the courage to set boundaries. Kindness is important, but so are boundaries and seeing limits. When I say no with firmness and grace, I am not showing unkindness or rejecting the other person. I’m living the same way Jesus did.
I am protecting the integrity of my kindness. Without boundaries, kindness becomes an empty gesture, a fruitless sacrifice that breeds resentment instead of respect. Kindness at its core is an act of selflessness rooted in empathy and a desire to uplift others. It is a deliberate choice to extend warmth, understanding, and compassion to those around us. The essence of true kindness lies in its foundation. And that foundation is Jesus Christ. Kindness must spring from a place of inner strength, Jesus Christ—- not from cowardice or a need to appease. To understand this fully, we must distinguish between authentic kindness and a counterfeit form of it, often driven by fear of rejection or an unbalanced desire to please. True kindness is an act of courage. Be courageous this week—-be kind!
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