June 9, 2107
“Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.” Matthew 6:10
This was our theme today at the camp—Friday, Session B. As I re-read these words from the Lord’s Prayer I am quick to realize that one of the reasons this prayer does not seem to be answered is my own obstinance.
For some reason I can pray this prayer with great resolve in the early morning—-when I am alone with Him. But as soon as I am brought into contact with my neighbors, campers, staff, etc, I somehow lose my focus on His Kingdom and get so wrapped up in my work, running the camp, maintaining order, and so on, that I lose the very thing that is my ultimate hope and goal—-God and His Kingdom.
His Kingdom will fortunately not be like “my” little kingdom or operation. It will be free from misjudgment, unkindness, suspicion, arguing, hurt feelings, anger, disappointment—-all those things that plague every “utopian” society. And the more I try, the more I realize that I am a cause—-if not the primary cause—of God’s Kingdom being stymied in my own environment. It’s so easy to blame politics or pastors, the internet or Hollywood; but in truth the blame falls on me for not truly seeking His Kingdom and His will as if this were heaven. I give up to easily; I am to quickly discouraged; the fight is long and I become weary too quickly.
Yes, this is one of those “dark blogs” that I sometimes write. But I am aware, more and more it seems, of my own inadequacies as I ponder the things He taught us and challenged us to become. Like Saint Paul I recognize what I want to be, but must admit that I am not that man yet.
These are the days that He, and He alone, can muster my confidence and give me courage to go ahead and still pray for His Kingdom to come—despite me and my rebellion to what I have been redeemed to be.
And He will lift me up out of this disappointment and challenge me to climb higher. Thanks be to God that He puts up with me on days like today.