Well, again before 10:00 am I had my goal of campers and deposits and am thinking that I need to raise the bar a bit. In truth we don’t have all the promised deposits in hand, but the French don’t tend to say they will send a wire and then fail to do it. So far about 125 places are confirmed out of 329 places for campers that said, “yes, I want to attend this year”. We’ll see, but I am encouraged at all the positive remarks, phone calls, emails that I get all day long.
On the way to train station today I found myself “down” and a bit depressed. I am aware that I suffer from bouts of what Winston Churchill called the “black dog”—-i.e. slight depression. I began to turn inside my soul and question why I was depressed and sad. Was it because I knew I was leaving France to come home to “problems” in the camp and the headaches of this new house? Was it because I was still sick about Greg’s “prodigal” life away from home? And so I prayed, and it occurred to me that I was depressed because of hidden worry in my heart. Worry about enrollment, cash flow, Greg, new staff, the market in Mexico, my mother’s situation, the final notes to repay to family and friends, etc, etc. And God’s Spirit made it clear that I had to chose to trust Him in these matters for daily bread and sustenance. My spiritual downfall is that I want weekly manna—-or even manna for a month! Trusting God for daily protection, encouragement, and my very life is not a “natural” way of living—-it is supernatural, does not make sense and is contrary to all that the world tells us! But to trust Him is to be in an intimate relationship with Him that is defined by His love for and the certainty that nothing can happen to me or the camp or those I love without His permission.
Funny how we learn things and then forget them.