On Facing the Lions..
Some days I cannot imagine how things could possibly end up right or get worse. It’s hopeless. Too many variables and too many irons in the fire. It would take two of me, working 24 hours a day to get it all done—and one of “me” would need to have a much larger brain. I cannot do it all—-I am unable.
He says: “Let not your heart be troubled”; but what happens when your heart is troubled and you can’t bring about the things essential to taking care of your children or your obligations to others that have trusted you? It does become troubling to your soul. It’s akin telling a drowning person, “now don’t panic, you need to relax”. When should you panic when you’re about to drown?
When I am pressed upon and disappointed I wonder: What of His reputation and my reputation as one who tells others that, “God will deliver you in time of trouble”? From all appearances I have been abandoned and left to ridicule. Where is He today? Sometimes (a lot times lately) He seems so far away—-almost indifferent to my cries for His Hand and His touch.
Yes, I know that He lives and that He is watching. I know that I must remain in Him if I am to bear the fruit of peace, joy, etc. But honestly, I feel that I am drowning at times with all that He has placed or allowed to be placed upon me. And yes, I realize that many of those things that stress me are self-inflicted, but the pain remains..
But to the point, “what do I do?” I am reminded of Paul’s words in the letter to the Philippians, "Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves.” Those very words are what helps me when I am do demoralized with self-pity or depression—the realization that it is often my pre-occupation with my troubles that gets in the way of His peace; it is the focus upon the needs and hurts of others that brings about a change in my heart and mind. I have four young men that I am feeding, parenting, raising, and loving for goodness sake! They look to me for stability, direction, encouragement and as the example of how a real man should handle himself. And strange as it sounds, the more I focus on their troubles in math, or how to tie a shoe, or how to grow muscles, et al, the less I aware of the same troubles that were drowning me a few hours ago.
It is true, it is not good that a man should be alone—-he tends to start taking himself too seriously. Praise God that He allows the needs and hopes of others to invade our self-centered orbits.