I am not alone?!


Dear Friends:
I am told that a few people are now reading these little musings of mine on the camp’s Facebook account.  I find that interesting and flattering because I know that what I write is not profound or terribly cerebral.  But I can say that I write what I think from my heart and perhaps that’s what some people find helpful or entertaining.
The closest friends I have are the ones that know my most craven weaknesses and insecurities and yet still call me "friend”. The men and women I am most quickly drawn to are the ones that see or feel the same way I do and share my similar passions or tastes. There are times when I think that I am the only one that struggles with a particular issue or sees thing in my peculiar way; but I find someone that sees and thinks the same way and I want to blurt out, “You too—-I am not alone?!”  
I share much of my joy and fears not because I feel the need to expound, but because as a pastor I hope that someone else can be encouraged to see that someone else out there thinks the same!
This morning, for example, after a difficult day and even more intense night (see yesterday’s thoughts), I found myself inexplicably ready for the challenge and opportunities to make things right, today. I had the same challenges before me as yesterday, but today I began the day differently. After my time of Bible study and reading I stood up and prayed to God out loud in the middle of the living room. I was totally alone but I spoke to Him as I would speak to a very, very dear friend. I poured out my heart, confessed my inadequacy, and mistakes and reminded Him of how I was in spiritual anguish yesterday; I asked Him to help me and hold me up today and to give me His peace and joy. I confessed to Him how weak and frail and totally dependent I was upon Him. And the joy of the Lord did return to me today. In my darkest days I know that the morning is coming and that His joy will return to me. But I am also a bit more compassionate with those who do suffer in mind and heart —-I have been there and will be there again.
Thank you to all of you who wrote to me and called me today. God is good to me and has never let go of me.
Warmly,
Dean Barley

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