Being totally dependent

Dear Friends:
I realize that some of these emails are sad and others are ebullient.  But I am simply sharing what’s going on in life and the camp. I am not making an attempt to create a fantasy or a novel of the Christian life. Some days I am low, feel pushed upon and would rather not get out of bed; on other days, I feel that I could shake the very gates of hell!  I don’t think I am bi-polar or mentally unbalanced (though some might disagree) but whatever I am, I don’t think it is atypical of any man or woman trying to work, live, thrive and make a difference in this dysfunctional world.
At the end of the day I hope my life is evidence of His life, precisely because I do get up when I don’t want to, I do not give up and I continue to believe that His will WILL be done on earth and in heaven, either now or soon.
And that is the faith that I live on. The conviction that even though things do not make sense to me, nonetheless I am called to work and create with the certainty that He is in control and that He will take care of me, He will bless me and, if I am faithful, one day tell me, face-to-face, “Well done!”
I live for that!  To know that HE is pleased with me and that HE approves of me and that HE loves me—-even if those that I am pleased with, approve of and love choose to ignore me. It’s not about me being noticed and appreciated, but me seeking His approval and pleasure. And if I am truly working towards that, everything eventually will fall into place! But if my focus is to make things fall into place and THEN seek His pleasure, BOTH of us (God and Dean) end up quite disappointed.
A Christian camping vocation is a roller-coaster.  Blessings and surprises one day and then challenges, disappointments and road blocks the next. This is the world in which we live, and because it is at is it, I am totally dependent upon Him for my peace, joy, purpose, contentment, etc. Pity the person who is looking for stability in this life for his/her direction and purpose without HIM.
Dean Barley

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